Arjun’s First Halloween…

My dear little boy because you don’t quite understand what halloween is at this tender age I have decided not to dress you up for my own amusement or the amusement of others. When you will be of that age to decide you want to look like  a scary troll , we will enjoy that…

Haunted by motherhood…

My little man is asleep. The silence is calm yet deafening as my mind accelerates through a million thoughts. Possibly voices in my head? insanity kicking in? I keep looking at my baby monitor, at the clock, at the phone, at the crib, frantically thinking to myself, yes I am haunted by motherhood. “What ……

The battles of happiness…

I struggle to come to terms with the fact that my true emotions hibernate in a rabbit hole, overwintered as winter approaches.  I keep swirling as I go deep into yet another winter, into this cold hole, flashes of an unhappy past float in the walls of this dark slippery well. I am barely clutching…

Nine months old …

Arjun is nine months old. I exclaim – Wow nine months!!!! Arjun is nine months old…. nine months!!!! seriously, where has time gone. (ok ok I will stop). I hate to sound like an overexcited new mommy on a caffeine high who does not stop hyping up an occasion as each month goes by…. But…